February 23, 2011

Very, very stressed this week. Suddenly there’s too much to do and not enough time and all the deadlines are looming. I am in the midst of applying for a few art-show and artist-member opportunities and all the deadlines are within a week of each other. And my husband is in his own la-la land of no-sleep as he prepares for an event he is helping run on the weekend and therefore not able to act as my sounding-board. GAH!

I had actually envisioned this post as being more of an announcement once I heard back on all the submissions, but who am I kidding? I know that I need to take a break from editing jpegs and artist statements and biographies but I couldn’t decide if I should watch a movie or take a bath and I’m actually a bit too stressed to do either. I can’t stop my brain right now. I’m having a glass of wine to calm the nerves a bit but all I can think is that I only have TWO days! And now I’m thinking that posting this might jinx it all and I won’t actually get in any of the shows or groups and I’ll feel retarded next week. Breathe Dayna breathe. There will always be more calls for submissions and more opportunities and then I will be ready, right? Right.

March 10, 2011

Still waiting to hear back on anything I applied for. I finally went ahead and did a regular blog post today. I had such high hopes for this post but waiting for news to finish this post would mean not getting a post done all month. I’ve been going back and forth between daydreaming that I get everything I applied for and depression that I get nothing. I guess it may not be realistic to get everything I apply for after a 7 year break in my art career. The important thing is that I’ve made the decision to go for it and if I don’t get in for what I apply for at first I will just keep applying elsewhere. I had thought I could only justify the title of this post if I got into everything at once with one fell swoop, but it actually doesn’t matter whether I get any of it or not. I’ve nailed down my artist statement and gotten back into the swing of things and I’m not going to turn back now. I have a plan and a purpose as an artist and I know what my life was like the past 7 years without that. I love my life, don’t get me wrong, but I need to do this.

The quote from my day-planner this week:

“The vital, successful people I have met all had one common characteristic—they had a plan.”

– Marilyn Van Derbur, activist (1937 – )

March 20, 2011

So I finally heard back from the first show that I had submitted to. None of my pieces were chosen. And though I know that this was the first thing I’ve applied to in years and it isn’t really reasonable to expect to get in right off the bat, I’m still sad about it. I have learned from this to NOT frame up the pieces before they’re chosen if I have any desire to make money at this at all. On the bright side they look really nice in the guest room in their (Ack!) custom frames.

I have to admit that this morning I was trying to explain to my husband how frustrated I was that it seems that no one sees the potential in me and I said: “I’m just so frustrated that…that I have to…to work so hard to get people to see it!” To which he replied “There it is!”. So I guess I’ll have to work harder. One thing that I may need to do is start “showing my hand”. I never want to talk about my projects before they’re done because I want all the drama of the reveal when it comes together. I want to knock people’s socks off and have them say that they thought I was just doing little landscapes. The problem with that is that in the mean-time all people can see are the little landscapes. I have to start talking about where I’m going with things. I have to submit “in-progress” photos and talk up all the great ideas in my head. I might also have to suck it up and actually share my artist statement with the world—perhaps even on my blog! This all makes me anxious. I think this is enough for one week.