It has been a looooong time! I almost forgot how to do a blog post! Plus, I think the admin layout has changed…or maybe it has just been that long.
This past year was rough. I had to come to terms with some things–the biggest one being that my daughter is on the Autism Spectrum. I had thought I was doing good at first, but I guess these things need to happen in their own time. Maybe I still needed to go through all the steps of grieving, but at any rate I am at last able to look past the autism and move on.
I had not intended to pull away from people so completely and did not realize how hard it would be to rejoin the world, so to speak, once I was ready. I also didn’t realize how much a part of me my art was. I did not paint for nearly a year and it made me feel like half a person. When people asked me what I did I would still reply with “I am an artist.” and then I would feel guilty that I wasn’t painting. But it seemed to be a chicken-or-the-egg scenario. Did I not feel good because I wasn’t painting? Or was I not painting because I did not feel good? I thought that getting back to painting would help me, but every painting I tried was “off” and just seemed to perpetuate how negative I felt. I had to be in the right place mentally to paint. I had to be ready to paint again. I am now ready to paint again.
I took advantage of my studio day and the gorgeous weather this week and spent three hours painting at the Leighton Centre. I started with a watercolour sketch and a small cloud study to shake out the cobwebs.
Then I did two larger landscapes–one facing west where the mountains were clearly defined and one facing south where the mountains were hazy. The second one started out as more of a cloud study, but then I ended up filling in the rest of the landscape and playing with colour a bit more.
I just made it to my daughters school in time to pick her up at 3:30 with paint covered hands, where she informed me that the next time I go out landscape painting I have to take her along too.
6 thoughts on “Learning to Love Yourself Again Begins With a Painting.”
I love the final landscape you did! The colours are fantastic! Looks like a fantabulous day.
Thanks Pickle :) It was a very good day! I’m so glad I decided to stay for one more painting even though I cut it a bit close with picking up Poppy from school.
Dayna, I’m always so very happy to read your blog posts, whether they are on art, family or life, frequent or infrequent (though more is always appreciated!).
Thanks Janice :) I am going to aim for more frequent postings :)
Wow Dayna, I’m impressed! These look great. Can’t decide which one I like best. Oh well…
Thanks Marie :)